Paul Withers is one to remember for many, particularly in the polo world. He was a great friend, larger than life – perhaps over the top at times – but always with a kindly intention, often to amuse.

Paul, who died suddenly aged 83, was born on a farm in West Harting in West Sussex on which his father Fred had the tenancy. Paul’s mother had left with his brother (with whom Paul was only recently reunited), and he was brought up by his father and educated at Taunton School. During this time, his father, also a polo player, was given the tenancy of Whiphill Farm on the outskirts of Midhurst by Lord Cowdray and was appointed as the Master and Huntsman of the Cowdray Foxhounds.

Paul was introduced to the world of the horse at an early age. Excelling at sport in school, it was no surprise that, encouraged by Lord Cowdray, he took to polo and showed early promise, becoming a loyal and dedicated member of the Cowdray Park Polo Club. As a teenager, he played for Mike Holden White, whose team was named Polo Cottage after his house in Easebourne. Paul then joined the Army as a gunner and was posted to 3rd Royal Horse Artillery. This was an elite regiment with a polo-playing tradition and a commanding of cer, Philip Tower, whose ambition was to win both the Inter-Regimental and the Captains & Subalterns polo tournaments.

One small snag, however, was Gunner Withers was not eligible to play in the latter and a commission seemed beyond him, as he had failed to reach the required standard in mathematics. Yet with one-to-one tuition and some string-pulling, a place at Mons OCTU was his, and as a Second Lieutenant he was most unusually posted back to 3RHA. Both tournaments were duly won.

Postings included a tour in Kenya – more polo – and Aden, where he saw action in the Radfan. The four years in the army proved a hugely signi cant part of his life, and on leaving, Paul became a professional player with the Cowdray Park team, playing also for Windsor Park to win the Gold Cup with Prince Philip, Tyrone and Patrick. He won the Gold Cup twice with Cowdray, with one narrow and sad failure to win in an epic nal (eight chukkas) in 1991. He played for England

Opposite: Paul in his playing days, flanked by the then Prince of Wales and Duke of Edinburgh. Right: With his wife, Sheldon, whom he married in 1972.

Below: Paul at the Dollar Cup, 2015 against Argentina in the Argentine, the team sponsored by Lord Cowdray in the glory days of the Hipwood brothers, when we could eld a competitive team against all-comers in the Coronation Cup.

At this time, he was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes, which he controlled with an iron discipline. His star move came in 1972 when he married Sheldon Gerry, a member of a distinguished family from the United States whose members included many polo players. Sheldon and Paul travelled the world together, playing in some 35 countries in the process and making many friends in the world of polo. He and Patrick Beresford, his great friend, proved beyond doubt that polo is the best passport to the world.

Finally at the age of 51, Paul hung up his polo sticks and became a professional umpire both here and in Florida, where he lived at that time. His great contribution to polo was recognised by the HPA with a lifetime achievement award. What a man and what a player; they will never come like that again – full of the experiences of life and charming to all, particularly to women. He will be greatly missed, especially by those who were lucky enough to call him a friend.